Monday, March 15, 2010

Why I could never keep kosher

Smiley burger face with a uni-brow

That is a Peter Luger burger with cheese and a slice of bacon. I could never live in Williamsburg because of my aversion to hipsters, reliance on the L train, and the Luger burger. Living in that neighborhood, I would be obese and perpetually pissed off by my surroundings. I have the same reasons for not living in Great Neck (substitute the LIRR for L train). I might also drop dead from a coronary while on my way there one afternoon.

There may be fancier and more expensive burgers. They may be messier, greasier and larger. I will still take the Luger burger. Medium rare. Cheese. Bacon. Side of fries and onion rings. Thank you.

It is the slightly-less-wealthy man's Luger experience. You get the same surly waiters, onion rolls, and steak sauce for half the price. The burger is a big mess of greatness. The bun does the best it can to soak up the juices, but ultimately, I do get messy. More than one shirt has fallen victim to the Luger burger. On the first bite once. The cheese is nothing special. But, the bacon... oh that bacon. A first-timer may think "one slice?" before realizing that a full slice of Luger bacon is more than enough for the burger. It must be one-eighth of an inch thick, meaty, salty, amazing. I reserve somewhere between half and one-third of the slice for side consumption. There is a reason the bacon is sold, as an appetizer, by the slice. A man can handle only so much bacon.

Look for me there on the afternoon of the 27th making a mess and smiling. 

Peter Luger, 178 Broadway, Brooklyn / 255 Northern Blvd., Great Neck

Unrelated link: Zach Galifianakis video for Can't Tell me Nothin'

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